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Day Eleven.

I took the checks Chaz gave me to the rent office to pay by hand. No way I’m getting fucked over again.

Update: The checks didn’t bounce! Looks like we’re in the clear again— and now we have learned a lesson about Chaz being a tricky dick. And I guess now is the best time to start looking into finding a new person to be my new roommate.

This is what I’ve put on craigslist:

$730 Master Bed/Bath w/ Already Furnished Rooms (Laguna Niguel)

This apartment is in a gated apartment community. Your neighbors will be english-speaking marines and spanish speaking day-workers. Nobody talks to each other and nobody dislikes these circumstances.

My roommate is not going to be able to make rent soon because he— get this— has a nice job where he makes enough money to pay rent. He just doesn’t pay rent because he’s a total cocksucker. I’m not saying he’s gay. What I’m trying to say is if he was gay then even the gay community would reject him for being such a gigantic dick-hog.

Rent total between the two of us is $1460— and that includes water. Utilities cost another $60 dollars which is something we can split down the middle.

The open room is a master bedroom with a balcony attached. It’s about 140 square feet. We’re on the second floor, too, so it’s not some sort of lame patio thing. Even though my cocksucking roommate is going, the couch and big screen tv and book shelves and fireplace get to stay. The fireplace was going to stay anyways but the point is that the place already looks like your dream apartment. And I get to keep the glass dining room table.

Remember the big screen tv I mentioned up there? Remember that? Remember it.

The place smells like cats but we don’t have cats. If you’re a cat person and you want to bring cats into the mix…don’t. Cats are all about licking themselves on nice furniture; they do not make good friends. But if you aren’t a cat person then you’re going to be in good company. I will not lick myself on any of our furniture.

I’m sure you want some specs. The entire place is about 1090 square feet. Parking requires a pass but we have a garage I don’t use because my roommate has been using it to park his bullshit Jetta in. The garage is yours: I don’t need it.

Some other cool things about Apartment J:

– Big Screen TV

-There’s a kitchen with everything kitchens usually have.

-Wireless internet. But I’d need somebody to help go in on paying that. I need help paying it now because of my roommate too, so there may be some bills we have to take care of before we can start a new internet plan.

-The furnished patio is attractive.

-What? Yeah, I said “fireplace” a while back.


-The college is nearby.

Once again, the college is nearby. If you can’t get to Saddleback within five minutes of leaving this place then you’re going the wrong way. Traffic or otherwise.

My roommate cannot find the USB cord to connect his camera to my computer, but in all honesty pictures won’t do the cat-smell justice.


Hopefully the room will sell. Soon.

Ask your students the following questions pertaining to the last chapter of “My Girlfriend Is Out of Town” that they read:

1) What can Charlie apply from what he has learned to the future?

2) Is Chaz-hands to be trusted? He seems like he’s up to something, right? (examples needed)

3) ASL