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Shit. Oh shit. Katy’s coming back home on Sunday. I got a text from her this morning.

She knows. She has to know I cheated on her.

Oh shit. Shit man. That’s all I can think about right now. Shit. Don’t you think it’s all shit— made the banner on my cell phone say shit because that’s all I ever say when I pull out that piece of shit shit unlock now press start to unlock shit— it’s all shit shit shit— bull-fucking your mother shit— all of it is dog shit. Buckets of shit painted on shit tasting like dog shit gas shitty mileage shitty jetta no money for gas or shit or money for wiping my ass when I shit so maybe I’ll just fill up a bathtub with horse shit and laser shooting shit that I can tattoo on my shit together just to make sense of all the shit raining down upon the shitforest canopy that houses all the creepy butt-fucking monkeys I’d seriously rather pick up donkey shit with my mouth for less than minimum wage just to leave y shitting job. Quite shitting literally. I hate it I hate it I hate it.

Shit, Katy, again. Shit shit shit shit shit I hate it I hate it I hate it getting pulled over by a shitty cop city cop chop shop can’t just find that registration Officer Cunt Popsicle I mean it fuck you and your shit catering job face I hate my obnoxious face and the shitty mirror image I’m stuck with bullshitting your bullshit and

Nobody but Katy can help me with my shit but that’s good and gone because her shit is good and better than my shit because I’m a shitty cheater

I have to tell somebody.

I mean it fuck you she’s the shit I care about mostly because our cats are shit ain’t shit to love because they crap all over the hallways walk down and Katy is allergic to them but I don’t get to say my shit because I’m a wreckless wreckful reckless back of the most pungent shit ever removed from an ass as cavernous and rank as they come just some cold shit getting fried up for breakfast but I’m just shitting you because I didn’t eat breakfast I didn’t eat lunch I didn’t do dinner and it’s cold my nutsack must have withdrawn up to my liver that shit can’t filter shit for shit since I drank too much in high school and early college and now my stingy ass can’t even pull himself together for the girl he loves because he’s trapped under his shit and in the the person the shit starts to take a personality of its own until all I all I all I until all I really want to fucking know is what is going on and does a bear fucking shit in the woods or not?