diptheria

Rollerbladers can’t swim well.

You’re going to see this on the news. Soon.

Hey, that was another joke about being a serial murderer who focuses on drowning rollerbladers. Again, it was a joke — it’s not that I’m murdering the fruitbooters– I’m helping the fruitbooters.

I help them find themselves kicking and screaming to their watery doom. And I help them see that kicking with rollerblades underwater and screaming underwater can be a very dangerous combination.

That was a joke, too. Sorry. Sometimes I mix up my confession notebook with my joke notebook during the transcription process. Lets get back to making fun of people.

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cholera

Either Elijah Wood is sitting in this coffee shop or a very unfortunate looking person is sitting in this coffee shop.

measles

Caught myself thinking about how much happier I would be if I was gay. Does that make me gay? I catch myself doing this, like, twice an hour. It’s starting to feel like work.